Thursday, June 15, 2006

So once again here I sit frustrated and fed up with people around me and wish I could just let the feeling go. Why do people have to be so hurtful and negative wanting to see people hurt because they feel they have been hurt and to me this just does not make since. I understand that when someone is hurting us or taking advantage of us either for real or in our minds that we want to defend ourselves but to wish harm or tragedy to them is just wrong. Everyday I hear the talk so and so did this, this person is stupid, I cannot believe this person acts that way. Gossip runs wild everywhere around me and I do not like it and it drags me down to a point where I no longer want to be here but cannot leave because I have responsibilities to my family. What can I do to change things? I do not know I have tried being positive and it does not seem to work, I have tried just ignoring people and staying away from the gossip talk but cannot always do that and when I do I am considered rude and unfriendly but if only they new how friendly was being by holding back my true feelings. Ah my true feelings if they ever came out would just drop everyone to the floor, all the frustration and penned up crap inside of me would rush over them like a rogue wave capsizing there little boat of life. So you may ask why don't I just do that why don't I just let it fly? Well because I choose not to be a hurtful person but instead just keep it to myself and my writings. This may be wrong but it's how I deal with it but for how much longer I do not know. So enough for now this has gotten to long already and has turned into some kind of psych man ramble so until later. Peace

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